Emily Kalshoven - The Art of Asking

I feel that Amanda Palmer brought up a lot of very interesting and difficult points in her Ted Talk. To many people, it is considered rude and selfish to ask for things, particularly asking for help. I believe that in America, it is looked down upon to ask for things because our businessmen and businesswomen are expected to make things work for themselves. They are expected to do things on their own.  Asking questions takes time, to think of the question and to listen to the response. Many people feel that it is better to just get things done on their own. But one of my father’s phrases that I heard the most growing up was “There’s no harm in asking.” I think it is really easy to forget that it’s okay to ask questions. Amanda Palmer says that is counterintuitive for artists to ask for help, but I think it is counterintuitive for most people overall to ask for help.  People have fallen into this trap of trying to do everything for themselves because asking for help has been portrayed as a sign of weakness and lack of independence. But if you think about cultural norms in the south versus cultural norms elsewhere, asking for help is perceived very differently between the two groups. In the south, it is customary to ask for help from a neighbor or a friend, almost expected that you ask for help. There is a special sense of camaraderie in the south where you ask for help from a neighbor the same way that you would ask for help from a parent or a sibling. There is no harm in asking. My dad taught me that the worst thing someone could do is say “no,” and if they do, then you get over it. No harm, no foul – at least you tried.